


The Big Catch

by NoDecaff4Me



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Attempt at Humor, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Light Angst, Revenge, olicity - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2019-07-05 13:10:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15864282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoDecaff4Me/pseuds/NoDecaff4Me
Summary: The lives of Oliver Queen and Felicity Smoak could not be more different.He was an infamous billionaire playboy and heir to a fortune 500 company who did everything he could to reform himself into everything his family wanted him to be. She was a struggling single mother of two girls, doing her best she could do get her family through after her whole life in Boston had fallen apart in the aftermath of her ex-husband’s criminal mischiefs.Both their worlds collide after his yacht’s Wifi-network collapses somewhere along the Oregon coast and he is forced to harbor in a small sleepy town called Elk Cove and hire an IT specialist to fix it only to refuse to pay her for her work in the end.All bets are off when she learns that he was laying in the county hospital with amnesia after an accident and she could finally get her revenge...An #Olicity Overboard AU





	1. The Meet (not so) Cute

**Author's Note:**

> Fanart by the amazingly talented @SAGfanart (thank you so much Sarah!)

                                                               

“No, Curtis.” Felicity groaned into her phone as she tried for the fifth time to start her old pick-up truck that Wednesday morning. It was warm. It had been unusually warm all summer long and still was on one of the last days in August on the Oregon coast (as she had been told by several locals). It weren’t so much the hot days that bothered her. But the nights had proven to be just as warm, with temperatures not falling under 68°F. She didn’t do too well with those temperatures and, as it just was her damn luck, the ceiling fan in her bedroom had shuffled off this mortal coil three nights ago, leaving her stewing in her own sweat all night.

No wonder her patience was already wearing thin that morning especially after the struggles she’s already faced until both her little girls had finally left for daycare.

It hadn’t been three months since they had moved to that hicktown on the Oregon coast called Elk Cove. Them being she and her seven year old twins, Emma and Leigh.

To say that her two little girls hadn’t responded very well to that change was an understatement. Even the most normal things were a struggle at this point... Granted - it had been a last minute decision that didn’t give her a lot of time to ease them in on the idea of moving, but it started to weigh on her at this point. Knowing she most likely would be getting a call from the daycare at some point of the day telling her to get them because they didn’t know how to deal with them.

They were a force of nature, two whirlwinds when they got bored. Something that happened more and more since she had to take them out of their private school after her company back in Boston had gone out of business and she couldn’t afford the tuition fee anymore. She had tried her best to keep the business up and running for years after what had happened with Coop, but it seemed like nothing was enough to regain her customers and their trust in her.

They just needed a fresh start and when Curtis Holt, a former classmate of her - and certified genius like herself - had called her up and told her he had a new idea for the software program they had been juggling with during their senior year at MIT, Felicity didn’t hesitate for one second.

There was a real chance that this could really result in something great if they approached it the right way and she wasn’t going to pass on an opportunity to finally build something for her little family. Even if it meant to move across the country to a small town her friend had moved to when he fell in love with a Coast Guardsman.

“What do you mean, why?” Felicity almost broke off the key in the ignition as her irritation started to grow when she listened to her partner on the phone. No way would she be dealing with Mr. Masterson two days in one week. “It’s your turn to listen to his endless rambles about reverse sexism and why the internet and feminism are bad for the economy.”

“Besides,” She threw her fist in the air when the engine finally had mercy with her and Polly (yes, her car had a name - courtesy of her daughters) finally started to purr. “I have an emergency job to do down at the harbor. We’ll talk later!” She cut the call short and threw her phone into her bag on the passenger’s seat before Curtis could guilt her into trading jobs, feeling only a little guilty.

Especially after he had left her alone with that sleazy tourist the other day who had apparently spilled a latte over his laptop and had spent the whole time leering at her (when he wasn’t making gross suggestive comments) while she tried to recover the data from his hard drive to the point she’d actually considered infecting his laptop with a virus that would turn every push of a button into porcupine farting noises.

She deserved something more challenging every once in a while and upgrading a boat’s wifi system just sounded like exactly what she needed to make her fingertips tingle again.

It had been way too long since Felicity felt a certain anticipation about her job, ever since she had moved to town from the east coast after… well, everything. But at least they had some kind of perspective here. She and Curtis were on a good path with their main project and if putting up with asshole customers was what it took to achieve their goal, she would do it without even batting an eyelash no matter how hard it was.

But at least she would get a very much needed change from her normal today, Felicity hoped.

And boy was she right…

**********************

Twenty minutes later, Felicity parked her car at the waterfront and grabbed her toolkit and tablet from the passenger side. She took a deep breath, inhaling the warm, salty fresh sea air as she walked down to the pier.

It wasn’t a big challenge to find the right boat. In between all the small fishing boats, cutters and the small sailboats, the ‘Gambit’ stood out like a sore thumb. A very large and luxurious sore thumb for that matter, Felicity thought when she walked towards it, wondering what kind of people would own a ship like this… the thought alone was ludicrous to her. Maintaining a ship like this was ridiculously expensive.

“Hello?” Felicity shouted out from the wooden ramp that led to the yacht’s deck and not a single person was to be seen aboard. “Anyone ordered a..”

“Ahhh! You must be my tantra massage appointment!” a good looking dark-haired man, he must have been around his thirties, cheered and reached out a hand to help her with the last few steps.

“What? No.” Felicity pulled back her hand as quickly as she could and almost lost her balance on the shaky planks in the process. “I’m the IT technician you called.”

“Ahhh!” the man exclaimed, flashing her a wide smile. “Yeah. That’s not me… See, I am here for the more exciting things in life.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you are,” Felicity muttered as she stumbled on deck and re-adjusted her glasses. “So, who do I need to talk to if that isn’t you?”

“Stop playing with the help, Tommy.” an unpleasant high pitched female voice followed by a low chuckle made Felicity turn around on the spot, watching as a couple approached them.

The woman looked only a few years older than Felicity, although the high cut bikini she wore as well as her tipsy attitude suggested she was somewhere in her late teens as she clung to the man beside her.

The man considered Felicity with a boyish grin she knew wasn’t really directed at her but was more in response to the woman’s remark. It didn’t reach his eyes though.

It looked more like something he used to do but didn’t fit him anymore. Like a grotesque and out of place mask. In fact, he looked bored. Something the woman beside him didn’t seem to mind the slightest.

Despite the fact that he was very handsome, Felicity thought and he was - well - very well built… And if it weren’t for his condescending rich boy attitude Felicity might have even enjoyed the view he was presenting in only a white shirt and gray khakis.

Reminding herself that this was just a job, and one she desperately needed for that matter, Felicity decided to let it go. So she pushed up her glasses and put on the politest smile she could muster.

“Hi. I’m Felicity Smoak. Your designated IT expert…” she extended her hand to greet him “and you must be…”

Oliver only considered her hand for a moment without returning the gesture and when he looked back at her the boyish grin was replaced with a stern expression “you’re late.”

The sudden change in his demeanor made Felicity’s eyebrows furrow “We… we did not agree on a time. I told you I’d be here as soon as I could. Which was an hour ago.” Felicity frowned at him, but before she could think of anything else to add in response to his obnoxious snobbishness she reminded herself about the good money that job would make and bit her tongue. She really needed every penny at the moment if she ever wanted to turn her life back around again.

“Anyway.” Oliver brushed over her remark and turned away without another word, leaving the rest of the company standing outside, but motioning for Felicity to follow him inside.

The sheer opulence that greeted Felicity made her jaw go slack. The ship looked even bigger inside and she was sure just the living area alone was bigger than the whole ground floor of her house.

“Ok.” Oliver turned around as they finally arrived at the bridge of the ship. “Here are the rules: 1. Don’t touch anything unless it is necessary to do your job; 2. Don’t even think about stealing anything - I will notice; 3. Just pretend that I and my friends aren’t even here. We will do the same; 4. Here is a detailed inventory list as well as the configurations of the network components; 5. You have 2 days to complete the job; 6. Any additional work besides what we have already discussed needs to be coordinated with me…”

Felicity raised her hand at that moment, earning a pair of rolling eyes from Oliver “Yes?” he asked brusquely.

“How am I supposed to coordinate anything with you if I am to pretend you’re not even here?” she asked in a fake sweet tone that threatened to escape her any moment now, remembering the ONE thing she didn’t miss after her move from the big city to a little town; overbearing metropolitans.

“And finally rule number 7: Don’t be a smartass and we will get along just fine.” he practically thrust the papers into her hands once he had opened the door to the server room and left without saying another word.

Felicity took a deep breath, reminding herself once more that she was there to make cash. Nothing more, nothing less... But trading the Masterson job to this was beginning to look like the biggest mistake she had made ever since moving to Elk Cove. 

**********************

_“I’m bored, Ollie!”_

_“Hmmmm…”_

_“You know we could have some of those couple massages… We haven’t done those in a long time!”_

_“I’m not here for your constant entertainment, Laurel.”_

_“You’re no fun, Oliver Queen.”_

_“Well - maybe Tommy is up to something fun… Why don’t you go bother him a little instead.”_

Felicity rolled her eyes. It had only been a few hours into the second day on the job aboard the ‘Gambit’ and she’d already lost count the number of times she had heard a similar dialogue between the couple.

No, she wasn’t one to eavesdrop, but as it turned out the walls on a boat weren’t exactly soundproof and as the other people on board weren’t really trying to be all too quiet, leaving Felicity with no choice but to overhear every bit of their mind-numbing conversation while she literally crawled the floors and rewired the whole ship into the 21st century.

How could people with so much money be so boring? Literally! All the good someone could do with all of that money and their time, but instead those people had decided to invest that on fancy yachts only to spend their days bored with one another… Not to mention the booze, tantra massages and mani-pedis the woman, Laurel(?) just had the second within only 2 days.

Felicity shook her head in disbelief. It had been the same with them since she had started her work… Which was him - Oliver - staring into the screen of his laptop, working, while the woman - Felicity by now knew her name was Laurel - complained about him working all the time…

And then there was Tommy Merlyn. Felicity didn’t know what to make of him, really. Based on the interactions she had overheard so far she guessed he was Oliver’s best friend (again - not eavesdropping), especially when the two men were alone.

But then there were also the moments between Tommy and Laurel (ok - maybe she was eavesdropping a little there! Mysteries bothered her. OK?!) when Oliver wasn’t around that made her wonder. And to be honest, if it were any of her business she’d guess those two had…

“Eeeep!” Felicity shot up from where she was currently laying out the new ethernet cables and covered her eyes with both hands as Oliver emerged from the bathroom in all his naked glory. How could she not have noticed him walking in there??

“You know,” she grumbled under her breath as she pressed her hands firmly against her face “there is a difference between pretending someone isn’t there and just blatantly IGNORING someone is present!”

“What?” Oliver chuckled not even trying to pretend he didn’t know she was there as he ever so slowly put on some boxers, letting Felicity have a nice view of his behind and what looked like a weirdly shaped birthmark on his right cheek as she carefully opened one of her eyes again (not that she was deliberately starting at it) “Too busy overhearing our conversations to notice me coming in?”

“You know,” she shot back, the condescending and obnoxious tone in his voice sobering her in an instant “if I were you I’d worry less about what ‘the help’ is up to on this yacht with everything else going on.”

Felicity went back to work without even considering his reaction and doubled her efforts to finish her work. It was time to put an end to that job and get the hell off this ship and away from Oliver Queen. 

********************** 

“Excuse me??” Felicity hissed at Oliver “What do you mean you’re not paying? I...”

“Simple” Oliver leaned against the doorframe practically caging her in the server room where Felicity had just finished to cleaning up after her work was done “Not only didn’t I order, all of the additional hours for the” Oliver looked down at the detailed description of the work she’d done in the last two days “replacement and rewiring of - 670 ft worth of ethernet cabling?” he raised a dramatic eyebrow at her “I also can’t remember telling you to lay hands on my security systems. A simple rule of business, Miss Smoak. No order, no pay. You might want to learn a little about that.”

“But I literally just did what you told me to do! Just because you don’t know how things work doesn’t mean they weren’t necessary,” Felicity was practically done at that stage “And believe me. They were. Your whole systems were still stuck in the 90ies!” she started to pack her things while she kept talking “and not the good kind of the 90ies like Nirvana, the Nintendo 64 or DVDs! No, I am talking Tamagotchis or Justin Timberlake’s hair!”

All she wanted was to get her pay and leave that miserable place with all its false pretenses and built up facades behind and get back to her own life. One that maybe wasn’t blessed with a whole lot of money (or any for that matter) but at least she knew the people that surrounded her really cared for her as much as she cared for them.

“The rules were simple, Miss Smoak. I won’t let anyone take advantage just because they think they’re smarter than me... I will happily pay for the hours you’ve spent on the software updates, but everything else is on you.”

“Well, you should probably take one of those couple massages again.” Felicity growled, “maybe they’ll also help to unknot your obnoxious attitude.”

“So you were listening!” Oliver yelled at her in response “That’s it. You’re fired!”

“Oh YEAH??!”

“YEAH!”

“Well, guess what! You still owe me over three thousand dollars!“ Felicity grabbed her bag and toolkit in a rush and pushed past him. There was no way she would back down to him. Not after he had made advance payments to her suppliers to get the job done in that short amount of time. “Do you even have a single clue how technology works nowadays?”

The fracking job HE HAD HIRED her to do!

“You told me to upgrade the ship’s network!” Felicity stumped on deck and turned around, furious “Well your ship’s new wiring just said hi to the 21st century! But I will find a way to make you pay if you don’t!”

“Captain Carl, start the engines!” Oliver yelled up to the bridge as he followed her outside and turned back around to her.

“Yeah? How’s that? You wanna hire a lawyer?” Oliver stepped closer to her, making her back away more and more towards the rail with a predatory like look in his eyes “Take me to court? Please… I will make a field day of it...”

“Ok. Enough!” Felicity pressed her back against the railing and tried to get as much distance between her and him as possible until… Well, until there was no way to go anymore as she had very successfully maneuvered herself into a corner at the far back of the ship. She raised her hand in warning, but it didn’t seem to bother Oliver the slightest “BACK OFF! Or I...”

“Or what?” He came even closer, making her bend away from him even more. It would only need a little...

“BOO!” Oliver pointed his index finger at her nose.

Felicity jerked at Oliver’s sudden movement and before she knew it she lost her balance. She screamed as she fell over the railing, head first into the chilly cold water of the harbor with a loud splash.

She fought to get back to the surface and when she finally did she was even madder than she had been the moment Oliver Queen had told her he wouldn’t be paying for her work… and all she wanted to do in that second was jump on him and scratch out his ridiculously blue eyes as she heard the yacht’s engines starting.

“HEY asshole!!” she yelled back and spluttered, paddling wildly to keep herself afloat while her clothes suddenly felt like lead weights on her body, “I think you still owe me some money!!”

“HEY!” Oliver, who had obviously watched her, yelled back as the yacht gathered speed “and here I was thinking you couldn’t get wet after all!! Guess we were both mistaken! And now I owe my friend 200 bucks!”

Felicity could only watch him picking up the tool bag from where she’d lost it on the floor of the ship “HERE! I’m not a thief after all!” and threw it in her direction together with her new and really expensive tablet.

_HER BABY!!_

Felicity swum as fast as she could towards her slowly drowning stuff in the water, cursing loudly when she could finally grab it. Now all she had to do was to somehow get to the shore…

And END Oliver Queen for what he just did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like what you read, or just want to say hi? Please do!  
> Kudos are always welcome, but a comment goes a long way! I can't wait to hear your thoughts. :)


	2. When Opportunity Knocks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity continues her day after she picked herself and whatever she could save of her tech out of the harbor waters while Oliver has set sails on his way to the business critical meeting in Hawaii, his father had demanded him to attend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was really surprised at how much you guys liked the first chapter of this story! Y'all made my day with all your lovely comments... And yes, we all agree: Oliver Queen is a dick and he needs his world shaken up a little bit! XD

 

Wet.

Felicity was wet. Dripping wet. And not in the really good, satisfying way that, come to think of it, she didn't even know how that felt anymore.

_“...and here I was thinking you couldn’t get wet after all!!”_

Ugh! She really needed the thoughts of that asshole that was Oliver Queen erased from her memory…  And change into dry clothes! But most of all she needed a shower and some dry clothes and get that weird smell of drying algae, motor oil and fishy salt water off of her body.

So, to say that Felicity’s day wasn’t really going too well was probably the understatement of the decade and she had a feeling it wasn’t about to get any better.

At a second look, the ghost turned out to be Buttons, fast on the woman’s heels…

Buttons was their black Great Dane which, when they had gotten her three years ago was supposed to be a Lab and not supposed to get any taller than 2 feet, certainly not grow to the size of a calf. But despite her initial reservations, they had kept him.

It’s wasn’t as if she’d had any real say in the matter anyway, after her then four-year-old girls had laid eyes on the puppy their dad had brought home without asking her. That had been about his last ‘contribution’ to their little family before it all fell apart.

“Are those your little monsters in there?” The unknown woman ran up to her car just as she was about to grab all her drenched and probably mostly ruined and broken belongings and step out of the car. “Are you their mother?”

“I am.” Felicity offered the woman a half-hearted smile as both her hands were full and, really, she also hadn’t either the time or energy to spend on small talk and politeness. “I am sorry I didn’t seem to catch your name?”

“I am Adel Burbridge, principal of the Elk Grove school. I just came here to welcome you and your family to the community and instead I got…”

“Glittered?” Felicity offered at the woman’s obvious lack of words.

“Attacked!” the woman shot back.

“I know it looks a little chaotic.” Felicity hated to agree with her. This wasn’t what she had imagined their life to look like either. “But we just moved here and we’re still trying to figure…”

“A little chaotic?” The woman laughed bitterly. “This is a mess! Where is their father with all of this going on?”

“He died four years ago,” Felicity responded, leaving out the exact details. Nobody needed to know.

“I am sorry to hear that…” The principal paused. “But those children lack some serious parental supervision, Miss Smoak. And you know it.”

Of course she knew! Felicity was painfully aware that THIS right now in no way could be called an ideal family situation and she was growing tired of constantly being reminded of that.

“I mean… At least they’re not into arson” Felicity mumbled to herself as the other woman got into her car and looked back at her one last time.

“You joke as much as you want about this. But if this situation continues I will have to inform the proper authorities about this!”

Felicity took a deep breath as she watched the car disappear behind the trees before she walked up the few steps to the front porch and opened the door to her ‘new’ house.

The sight that presented itself to her shouldn’t have surprised her. No matter how much effort she’d put into making their house look as much of a home as she could with the limited time and money she had at hand, her two whirlwinds would always find a way to make it look like Tokyo - post-Godzilla attack. No matter who was watching after them… Well - except for her.

She couldn’t blame them… They had far too much imagination and not nearly the amount of time from their mother they deserved. The time together all of them deserved.

It was a luxury Felicity just couldn’t afford. Not ever since she was left alone with the two of them and she missed that time unlike anything else.

So, she knew she’d clean up the mess and soldier on like she’d done 4 years before… because there was really nothing else she could do if she wanted to keep her little family of three intact and there wasn’t anything she wouldn’t do to maintain that.

“PEAS!!” Felicity called into the empty room, massaging her temples as she tried hard not to think of the time it would take to clean up that glittery mess that was currently covering at least 75% of the floor and furniture. They’d really done a thorough job this time…

She really needed a new discussion about the appropriate use of their overly vivid imagination and explosive devices in their home with her girls.

“Hey,” a warm familiar voice said, directing her attention towards the kitchen. “We were just about to clean up.”

There stood her neighbor, John Diggle (or Dig as she called him), with yellow gloves on both his hands and a remorseful look on his face. “I’m sorry I didn’t catch up on what your two rascals were up to before it was too late.”

“It was an accident, Mom,” a small rueful voice piped up from behind Dig.

“Yeah, we didn’t mean to,” another quiet voice said before both her girls glanced at her in feigned innocence from behind Dig’s legs. “We got distracted by the unfriendly lady.”

Felicity just sighed as she glanced around her home which now looked like a unicorn had just imploded inside it. Knowing there wasn’t any use of yelling at her already guilty looking children she put on a few gloves herself. “Ok - we’ll talk later. Let’s get this done… Where’s the vacuum?”

“Yeah, about that…” Dig and her two daughters stepped aside and give her a clear view of her vacuum, but it somehow looked much more like a very sparkly pink… Bazooka??

Felicity just shook her head and tried hard not to laugh at the latest invention the genius minds of thoughts her two rascals had come up with this time.

They really needed to have a new discussion about firing things at people in their home - or anywhere for that matter… but at least she hadn’t had to deal with another case of arson ever since the fatal Moose incident about a year back (Molly being Emma’s favorite stuffed animal).

So she took that as a win. Glitter or not…

**********************

“I know, dad… Don’t worry. Everything is under control.” Oliver sighed and rubbed his hand over his face, finally ending the two-hour long phone call with his father.

It had been a long day. Actually, it had been a long year, ever since he’d almost ruined his family’s company with one little mistake. But his parents, especially his father, wouldn’t let him forget about it.

One little affair - one of many - that had suddenly threatened to destroy - well… everything... because he wasn’t thinking straight.

She had just fit his usual dating tastes so well. She was young, good-looking, very responsive to his charm and not looking for anything serious (there really wasn’t more to it than that). The only problem had been that she was working directly for his father at the time. A young, enthusiastic intern that was willing to do whatever it took to take another step on the ladder to the top. Even if it was the CEO’s son…

Honestly? The fact she was working closely with his father had just been a bonus for him. He was never someone to run away from a challenge and he had loved the thrill of his father possibly finding out about it eventually. It had even spurred him on and he, more than willingly, had stepped right into her trap. By the time they had discovered she was a corporate spy… he had unknowingly been feeding her classified information for weeks.

Oliver had turned his life around after that, knowing he had to become more serious about the business if he wanted his father to give him a second chance. That’s what he had done. He had stopped partying all together and instead spent night after night in the office trying to make up for his mistake. He controlled everything and everyone to avoid someone taking advantage of him again. He’d even taken his parents’ advice and finally got engaged to his long-term on and off girlfriend.

This was also the reason he had been sitting in the office for four hours on his family’s yacht while his fiancée and his best friend were enjoying themselves up on deck.

Laurel had demanded they take a few days off and go on a vacation while his father was expecting him to take care and close their last big deal.

That had been the reason why he had also invited his best friend to join them on their way to Hawaii, knowing Tommy would keep Laurel entertained while he was doing his best to prepare for the business meeting in Hawaii.

Everything had gone smoothly and according to plan.

He had all the time to focus on his project while Tommy kept Laurel entertained. Something he seemed to be so much better at than him… He just hadn’t had the time - or the patience - to do that on top of everything else… Laurel, on the other hand, seemed to be just fine with that.

So yes, everything was totally ok. Until the boat’s Wifi system had started to act up just when they were cruising southwards along the Oregon shoreline and he had to find someone to fix it, and quickly.

And of course he had managed to hire the most obnoxious woman on the west coast for the job.

Not that he didn’t notice that she actually had done her job properly… He would lie if she said that. Actually, she had done more than just meet his expectations. She had over-delivered. But she had done that without consulting him! She had gone over his head! And she had done so with an insolence that had made his blood boil. It still did, only thinking about her… Maybe it was that feigned innocence she had about her, or maybe it was those crystal clear blue eyes trying to pierce through him whenever she had looked his way. at him. Whatever it was, it had made him feel uneasy, he didn’t trust things that made him feel that way, and he was glad once she...

Oliver shook his head. He didn’t even know why he was thinking about her right now. It hadn’t been his fault. He didn’t actively push her off the railing after all. But what’s done was done. There was really no need to feel sorry…

Talking about sorry…

“Ollie??” Laurel’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts. She stood at the door, her arms crossed and her left foot tapping on the wooden floor.

“I am going to bed now just in case you were wondering… I’m still here.”

“I’ll be with you soon.” Oliver responded blandly without even bothering to look up from his laptop screen.

“Oh!” Laurel turned around halfway to their cabin. “Before you do that, could you be a doll and fetch my ring? I think I forgot to put it back on after the manicure. It should be up on deck.”

That was the reason Oliver was currently bending over one of the large mattresses on the sunbed, looking to see if the precious heirloom his great-grandmother had worn before his fiancée maybe somehow had fallen to the floor.

He groaned in frustration, thinking of all the times she’d already lost that damn thing! He should’ve just bought a new platinum band instead like he originally had planned to do. But his mother just had to insist...

“Gotcha!” he reached down between the bulwark and the mattress and slipped it on to his pinkie before he could lose it again as he balanced his way over the large cushioned area when the yacht all in a sudden took a sharp turn to the left and thrust him against the railing and almost fall over.

Oliver cursed under his breath as he straightened himself again, making a mental note to tell his father to finally retire Carl the next time he’d talk to him. Before he could even finish that thought another wave hit the boat and he finally lost his balance and fell head first into darkness.

**********************

At least the next morning started indefinitely better than the previous day had ended for Felicity… It had only taken three hours _SANS vacuum_ to clean up every last bit of the glittery mess her two little monsters’ doomsday weapon had created in their living room area.

But Felicity wasn’t dwelling on that as she and her girls were currently in one of their favorite places in the world and eating the best banana and chocolate pancakes on the entire planet, handmade by none other than their favorite neighbor, John Diggle.

John Diggle, Lyla Michaels and their two children, daughter Sara and little John Jr. lived right across the street from Felicity and her daughters and it had been love at first sight for all of them.

John was a former army soldier and now proud owner of the only decent bar/diner in town and Lyla was the town’s Sheriff and they both were the only reason Felicity hadn’t gone totally crazy since her and the twins had become the newest citizens of Elk Cove.

The two of them were the first ones to walk up to them and welcome Felicity and her daughters to the neighborhood the day they had arrived in town after four days stuck in a car, cheap and shabby motel rooms, and roadhouse restrooms

They had been just in time to prevent Felicity from having a tiny little meltdown when she had realized that the moving truck was stuck somewhere in Wyoming along with all of their furniture by offering her a quick solution to the missing beds' situation with two large air mattresses… and by the time Curtis and Paul had arrived, her car had already been unloaded and everything had been brought into the house.

Ever since that first evening, they had bonded in a friendship Felicity never knew she had needed but cherished with all her heart.

“One more?” Dig asked over the kitchen counter as he pulled the last stash of perfect pancakes from the stove.

“Just some more coffee for me! I guess Curtis is already waiting for me… Thanks for watching those two by the way.”

“It’s nothing.” Lyla smiled over the rim of her own cup. “We’re always happy to have them over.”

“So.” John sat back down at the table, looking at Felicity. “How’s that project of yours coming along?”

Felicity sighed in response. “Slow… Too slow for my taste.” She knew every new project was a process that needed time to form in the beginning. They were a good team, her and Curtis. They always had been. But that had been eight years ago, back in school and before she had become serious with Coop and gotten pregnant. “We’re going to figure it all out eventu...”

The rest of sentence pretty much got stuck in her throat when her eyes glimpsed at the picture of a very distraught, yet all too familiar looking man flashing over the tv screen.

_“We have just received an update on the mystery man that was picked up by a fisherman boat around 3 o’clock in the morning...”_

“Oh. My. God.” Felicity gasped.

_“Now, he is in good physical condition and conscious all right, but the problem is, he is suffering from amnesia and has no recollection of who he is…”_

“What?” Both Lyla and John turned around to look at the TV on the kitchen counter.

“That’s him!” Felicity pointed at the screen and hissed as quietly as she could, not wanting the kids to hear her. “That’s the scumbag that refused to pay me and then threw me into the harbor!”

She had to try hard not to laugh at the irony of it all as she watched the poor reporter trying to get an interview from him and him - well - the amnesia at least didn’t erase his endearing charm…

She knew he could have drowned or frozen to death in the cold water. The Pacific Ocean wasn’t exactly the Caribbean. More than that, she couldn’t help but wonder how he had landed in the water in the middle of the night… But there was also this overwhelming feeling of schadenfreude, about how karma always found a way.

_“Earlier today two people had arrived at the hospital for identification, but left shortly after disappointed that the man was not the friend they were looking for…”_

“And that’s them!!” Felicity pointed wildly at the screen. “That’s his fiancée and his best friend!”

“And they just left?” Dig laughed incredulously. “Now that’s some good quality entertainment on a Saturday morning!”

“Figures,” Felicity mumbled, remembering the hushed conversations between the two of them she had (AGAIN!) overheard involuntarily “they’re totally hooking up behind his back.”

“Well.” Lyla looked at her. “Looks like there’s your chance to get your money after all.”

Felicity considered her friend’s words for a moment. She had been up late last night, thinking of how to get her pay from this asshole. She had been hardly able to fall asleep over it, stewing and plotting plans on how to get her revenge on Oliver Queen...

Sure, she could’ve just hacked his bank account and taken the money he owed her. She was good enough to know she wouldn’t get caught. But, on second thought, that was just too simple and lacked a certain kind of finesse she thought a good revenge should entail.

She’d also thought about remotely sabotaging the ship’s radar systems, but that just felt too unsafe and she really did not want to be responsible for innocent people being stranded on some uninhabited island in the middle of the ocean.

The same went for his company - well, his family’s company as she found out with a few clicks - but damaging a company that big and with so many employees depending on their monthly salaries was just ridiculous.

Then there was his relationship with Laurel… but that one was already doomed by what she had overheard (unwillingly!) during the three days she had spent on the ‘Gambit’...

“But he doesn’t even remember who he is, or, even less who I am...”

WAIT!

Felicity fished for her phone and pulled it out and ran fingers over the calculator app… Hmmm. She smiled in mischief. She couldn’t believe that the universe had just presented her a whole other opportunity for revenge on a proverbial silver platter.

“Whatever you’re thinking of right now, Felicity… Don’t do it!” Dig warned her as he saw the look on her face.

“What?” Felicity looked up at her friends with feigned innocence.

“I know what you just did there. You are calculating how many hours it would take for him to work off his debt to you and Curtis.”

“If you think of it, it’s just a simple trade. Manpower for manpower...” Felicity said defensively, but not sounding overly convincing. Really, she was trying to convince herself as much as the others that this was actually a good idea.

But really. What kind of harm would there be? He would do some cleaning work around the house, watch her kids - once she decided he was fit enough to do that of course - she could of course work from home for the time being… There was still the leak in her house’s roof that needed fixing… Maybe he could even cook!!?

“Your roof still needs fixing...” Lyla leaned forward with a conspiratorially look on her face as if she had just read Felicity’s mind “and just imagine the money you could save with a full-time nanny at home.”

Felicity wrinkled her nose “yeah…”

OH, THE OPPORTUNITIES!!

“What do you think you are doing?” Dig eyed his fiancée as he started to clean up the table “I mean, not that I don’t appreciate the irony… But this has ‘disaster’ written all over the place!”

“We’re just speculating, Hon…” Lyla winked at Felicity before took the dirty dishes from Dig and put them into the sink “of course you’d need to find someone fit enough to manufacture some proof of identity if you’d want to get him out of the hospital.” Lyla mused as she sat back down with two freshly filled cups of coffee for her and Felicity.

Dig threw his hands in the air at the sight of the two women sticking their heads together and walked over to the kids who were already waiting for him to finally continue their work on the treehouse they had started to build a few weekends  ago “I am just going to pretend I didn’t hear any of this.”

Felicity looked over to her friend who, by the slightly resigned look on his face, already knew what she was going to do. But she also knew neither of them were going to stop her. It was too good of an opportunity to just let it pass.

Right? Right...

The only thing she needed to have was a little chat with her two girls and their consent. Which, knowing her two troublemakers wouldn’t be too hard.

Felicity Smoak was going to get herself a fake husband and Oliver Queen wouldn’t even know what hit him...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like what you read, or just want to say hi? Please do!  
> Kudos are always welcome, but a comment goes a long way! I can't wait to hear your thoughts. :)


	3. Revenge...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me longer than expected to edit and finish this chapter...  
> Work and life had just been crazy those last few weeks, so I needed to take a step back from writing. I still hope you'll enjoy this update. :)

 

This was a really bad idea. No, it was a REALLY, truly, horrible, terrible, no good idea at all.

It wasn’t for the first time that day these thoughts ran through Felicity’s mind when she stepped foot into the county hospital only an hour after she had talked to her daughters.

So much could go wrong… But then again she was not going to hurt him.

She was about to give him a home, right? His fiancée and his best friend had just shamelessly left him there. Left him behind without a single memory in a hospital without a single care in the world of his circumstances or what would happen to him. Not that she really ‘cared’... but if she could teach this rich boy douchebag a lesson or two while getting a little revenge for her dead tablet she was willing to do her best.

Oh lord… She was already starting to rationalize the whole thing...

“Miss Smoak?”

“Yes?” Felicity instinctively clung closer to the envelope with documents she had put together with Curtis the last night after the girls had fallen asleep.

She hadn’t felt too comfortable asking her friend for help for - well - obvious reasons… but she was equally surprised at how quickly her friend had agreed. All it had taken was her telling him how Oliver Queen had treated her; and how there wouldn’t be a settled invoice for any of their expenses. As for the final nail in that coffin, she had shown him the disassembled parts of her new tablet that, not very surprisingly, had just proven to not be waterproof. After that, it had only taken them 3 hours to put together everything she thought she needed.

The one thing she had not taken into consideration was how uncomfortable she’d feel carrying around forged papers.

Yep! She’d clearly make a terrible crook… which was actually funny to even think considering she was about to commit a serious crime.

Felicity gulped at that thought and looked back at the hospital’s entrance. Was it too late to make a run for it?

“Is everything ok?” the young male nurse asked over his desk.

Well… there went that option.

“Sure, why?” Was she sounding nervous? Oh god, she was totally giving herself away right now.

How had she even gotten to that desk? She couldn’t even remember entering the hospital much more walking up to that desk and talking to… Billy? At least that was what his name tag said.

“It’s just… I called your name a few times. You looked kinda distracted. You sure everything’s alright? Missing a family member, much less a husband, for several days can be really stressful.”

“No.” Felicity gulped audibly “I am fine.”

“So, you’re saying this is your husband.” Billy pointed to the picture again. Back at her looked a very crestfallen Oliver Queen with a slightly longer scruff and messy hair and she had to bite back a laugh.

“Yes. This is Jonas Smoak. He’s my husband.”

The young man grinned at her while he reached for the phone “Hey, Marge! We have a winner!" His voice leaving no room for Felicity to not catch the ironical undertone. Clearly, Oliver Queen and his insufferable personality had already managed to make a lasting impression on the hospital personnel.

A minute or two an older woman walked up to her - Marge - Felicity took from the name tag “Miss Smoak?”

“That’s me.” Felicity flashed the approaching doctor a nervous smile.

“I am Dr. Lacroix. We have moved your husband to the neurology department. Follow me” the woman pointed to the elevators and let her step in first before she pressed the button to the 4th floor.

“What - ummm - should I expect when he sees me?” Felicity asked when she followed the woman into the elevator. Not sure if she should even make any kind of conversation.

“He has no recollection of who he is,” the doctor began “he doesn’t know where he’s from or what he was doing in the water at that time of night.”

“Wow.” Felicity huffed “that’s awful… So he doesn’t remember anything?”

“At this point, it is hard to tell what he still does remember. He has no problem with voicing what he doesn’t like, which is somehow a good sign…Are you sure that man is your husband?” the woman suddenly asked making her Felicity turn around to her on the spot.

“Of course.” Felicity frowned at the woman.

“It’s just,” the woman eyed her with a warm smile on her face “you look like a really nice person. I am sure you will figure it out together. It’ll just take time.”

She was just about to ask what the woman meant when she heard a gruffing voice echoing through the hallway “Well! I might not know who I am, but I am certain I have a lawyer at hand that will gladly sue this whole place for wrongful imprisonment if you won’t let me go right now!”

Yeah - he was a charmer alright. Felicity thought when she watched Oliver standing there in his hospital gown in one of the meeting areas on the floor, talking down to a nurse.

“And who’s this?” Oliver’s attention moved over Felicity the moment she and the doctor entered the room. The doctor moved over to him and sat him down to talk to him “This is your wife and she is here to pick you up...” she said in a hushed voice which was quickly followed by Oliver frantically shaking his head no.

“No!” Oliver stood up “that can’t be… I’m not,” he eyed Felicity closely as he started to pace the small room “this has to be a mistake. I’m not married!” Oliver didn’t really know where this was coming from. It wasn’t as if he remembered anything from before he got fished out of the water, but the sentiment alone that he could be married sent a cold shiver down his spine. He wasn’t marriage material… and besides “she’s not even my type!”

“That’s always nice to hear,” Felicity mumbled under her breath when the doctor motioned her to sit down too.

“Ok.” Felicity took a seat at the round table and pulled out the envelope with documents and slid them over to him and watched him hesitantly open it. He kept eyeing her warily, but she decided to ignore him and just kept going “Your name is Jonas Smoak. We have been married for six years and…”

“I don’t believe this.” Oliver shoved the driver’s license and the marriage certificate back to her and looked her dead in the eye “I don’t believe YOU…”

Felicity felt by that time everyone’s eyes in the room was on her while she looked at him, trying hard to think of something that would confirm her story. Something she wouldn’t know unless she… RIGHT!

“You have a small birthmark on your right butt cheek in the form of a,” she leaned forward a little bit and whispered loud enough for everyone to hear “tiny little dick.”

If he wanted it that way, he could have it his way and smiled sweetly at him.

Oliver narrowed his gaze on her as he moved so he could take a look at his behind in the mirror above the sink in the corner of the room only to find Felicity’s statement confirmed.

“Husband!” Felicity grinned at him and opened her arms dramatically.

Time to finally get out of that hospital and give the man a literal run for his money...

**********************

After two excruciating hours in the hospital and an extensive talk with Dr. Lacroix about how they should proceed the next few days, Felicity stepped out of her old pick-up truck in front of her home with at least 3 pulled nerve strings and one newly gained husband in tow.

The ride back home had been a silent one. Neither of them knew what to talk about. He literally had nothing to talk about while she was still figuring how to talk to him without wanting to throw something at him.

She had watched him from the corner of her eyes, wondering what he was thinking of as he just stared out the side window the whole drive. He didn’t move or make any noise, he just… watched, but she could tell he was feeling just as uncomfortable as her.

“Home sweet home,” she mumbled as she steered the car up the small driveway in front of the house.

“This is where we live?” Oliver only managed to take two steps out of the car before he stopped dead in his tracks and let the view sink in.

The house was tiny and had probably seen its better days about 20 years ago along with the roof, judging by the tarp covered and very prominent hole in. Really, the unkempt front yard just looked oddly fitting at that point.

Ok - unkempt might have been an understatement… The grass was over knee high and some of the trees had been dead for at least a decade and there was still an old rusty old Buick rotting away in the middle of everything she just never had the time or money to have removed.

To just call it for what it was; it was a mess! Just like the rest of her life.

She had done her best in the past few weeks to make the house feel like a home to not just her but also the twins, but there had been only so much she could do besides work and the project she and Curtis tried hard to get a start on.  “Yep! This is home.”

This wasn’t right, Oliver shook his head. No way in hell would he have moved to this dump. Not in a million years unless… they didn’t have another choice. He had to ask her about that. There was so much he needed to know, so much that didn’t add up… Like the clothes he was wearing at the moment? They couldn’t be his.

Oliver looked down at himself again and at least two sizes too big shirt and sweatpants he was wearing. They surely didn’t fit. Just like the everything else in his life right now…  

“Are you sure these are even my clothes?” Oliver asked as he stumbled over the steps of the front while he tried to tie the too large sweatpants around his waist.

“Sure.” Felicity couldn’t help but snicker when she watched him trying to make the sweats stay up on his hips. Dig had given them to her before she had left for the hospital that morning, along with a few more shirts and two pairs of jeans. They all were from back in the day Dig was in full training in the army and at least 20 pounds more than he was now… “you - ummm… You lost some weight in the last months.”

“I was fat?” Oliver looked at her slightly terrified at the idea. So his vanity certainly wasn’t something affected by the man’s amnesia, Felicity took a mental note.

“I wouldn’t call it that.” Felicity looked at him over her shoulder as she turned the key and opened the door “you… might have gained some sympathy pounds when I was pregnant and never lost them again.” she told him as she turned the key around and opened the door and stepped inside.

“WE HAVE A KID??” Oliver gasped loudly and Felicity could see how the color drained from his face.

Right… She might have forgotten to tell him that.

“Not exactly…” Felicity just started to explain when the drumming of small feet on the stairs interrupted and both her daughters along with Sara Diggle and little JJ came running towards them.

“Daddy!!”

Oliver started to feel lightheaded and a light whiff of hysteria started to mix with his already very tangible confusion and discomfort about this whole situation as he watched those four small human beings approach him and at least two of them referring to him as…

He was a father?! He just… No! He couldn’t be. Not that he really DID know who he was right now… But THIS?? A FATHER?

The world around him started to grow more and more blurry.

He needed to sit down. Or lay down.

“What’s wrong Dad?” one of the blonde girls approached him

Yes. Lay down. He definitely needed to lay down.

Oliver looked around and headed for the sofa just before the ground underneath him disappeared into nothingness and he passed out.

**********************

“I think we killed him…”

“Is he dead?”

“No one is dead! He just fainted.”

“That was pretty funny though…”

Oliver woke up to hushed voices low chuckles around him made him stir and open his eyes as he tried to sit up until he saw something that very much resembled a black calf careering towards him until it came to a stop just an inch or so away from his nose and - growled??

Ok - maybe the amnesia was getting to him a little harder than he’d expected. The doctors had told him that confusion was a very common side-effect that came along with the memory loss, but they hadn’t said anything about hallucinations!

“I think you scared Buttons”

“Is this what your… uh… Calf?”

“Dad!” one of the young girls chuckled “that’s Buttons.”

“He’s a dog, dummy.” the other girl amended with an equal chuckle.

Dad? So this hadn’t just been a dream then… He was not only married, but was also the owner of a calf-sized dog that seemed to not like him very much AND, most of all, the father of two girls. Twin girls for that matter… The fact that he just couldn’t seem to remember any of this seemed so unreal and - well - frightening. Maybe the hospital wasn’t that bad of a place after all...

“Okay. That’s enough, Buttons.” Felicity shot up from the chair in which she had been watching the whole situation with a weird mix between a not very insubstantial amount of glee and worry for how her daughters would handle it. But obviously her daughters were much better at this than her… Which, in fact, made her worry even more…

Ok - time to move things along a little, Felicity thought. He was here to work off his dues and there was no real reason her daughters should get more attached to him than absolutely necessary. They had always been a good team, just the three of them, and there was no need to change that any time soon… “and you two should start to pack together the things you’ll need tomorrow for school and I will be with you shortly after I give Jonas a tour of the house.”

Oliver curiously observed the family interaction from a distance and watched the two girls as they started interchanging looks and quietly weighing their chances of getting out of it. He couldn’t hold back a low chuckle as the both of them simultaneously rolled their eyes and shrugged their shoulders before they turned around and trotted off.

“So,” Felicity put on a fake smile and turned back to the real situation that needed handling. At least he seemed to feel a little better after the first shock… “now that you already made acquaintance with where you’re sleeping, I should probably give you a tour of the rest of the house.”

Oliver’s smile disappeared in a short second at that announcement. “I sleep there?” he looked skeptically between the small sofa and Felicity and rubbed his neck that already felt stiff after lying there only a short time “on… that?”

“Don’t worry. It’s a pull-out... You said it was better for your back.” said with a shrug before she gestured him to follow her upstairs.

Not that there was a lot to see other than two bedrooms and a bathroom that judging by the two leaky sinks, the splintered tiles and a rusty bathtub with a large hole in the bottom had probably seen its best days about two decades ago.

“There’s also a toilet down there,” Felicity pointed to the left “but it isn’t working so we’re currently using that as Crush’s swimming pool…”

“Crush?” Oliver frowned.

“The girls’ turtle… be careful. He bites.” Felicity looked back at him as she walked downstairs again and moved towards the small but open kitchen area that…

“Wow,” Oliver gushed as his eyes started to take everything in “this is… a mess.”

And it was. With all of the remainders of the previous day’s ‘Glitter-a-Geddon’, the vacuum’s components spread all over and the dirty dishes of at least a day it really was a mess.

There was no denying the obvious. But she also didn’t need to be reminded of that by a man who, from what she had read, probably had his own personal army of servants who took care of his every need since the moment he was born!

“Well… Since the kitchen has always been your territory it’s all yours.” Felicity threw him a sarcastic smile “After all… the doctor did say it was best to get back to a normal routine as soon as possible, right?”

Oliver heard the exact words the doctor had told them before they had left and he couldn’t really argue about that. It had sounded reasonable when he had heard them before, but that was before he was in the actual ‘normal’. But maybe that was just him and maybe - just maybe - he should actually give it a try.

Besides, he might not know who exactly he was or where the challenge in her tone came from, but shying away from it was the last thing on his mind.

“Ok,” he quirked an eyebrow at her “how about I cook dinner if you clean up this mess.”

“How about you do both and I will eventually tell you how to exactly set the tap in the shower so you won’t get your butt burned” she tried to keep her face straight, but seeing his smile broaden even more at her retort made her grin back at him before she could capture herself.

“You draw a hard bargain, Miss Smoak.”

“Yes, well…” Felicity took a step back to get some distance between them “I... I need to go check on the girls… And - ummm - you better get to work before those two get really hungry.”

She didn’t know what had just happened, but she knew better to not let whatever it was to continue.

He was there for one reason and that didn’t include her falling for his obvious charm.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like what you read, or just want to say hi? Please do!  
> Kudos are always welcome, but a comment goes a long way! I can't wait to hear your thoughts. :)


	4. Chores

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!  
> I know it's been a while, but I’m back with another chapter...   
> Hope you’ll enjoy it! :)

 

_ Beep! Beep! Beep! _

Oliver startled awake and shot up from where he had been laying as a sore feeling immediately started to settle in his spine. He felt as if he had spent the night on the most uncomfortable spot of concrete in existence.

The sun was just coming out of its hiding spot and starting to creep in through one of the windows, into an otherwise still dark room.

_ Beep! Beep! Beep! _

“Ugh!” he groaned, as he looked around. He tried to find out where the hell that obnoxious noise was coming from while also trying to figure out where he was… The haze surrounding his mind, however, lifted immediately when his gaze met with another pair of eyes. Furry eyes. A very snarly pair of eyes.

Buttons.

“Right.” Oliver instinctively scooted away from the angry looking canine to the other side of the bed as the memories of the previous evening started to come back to him, along with a tingling sensation just above his right eye where that damn broken stove had almost set his face on fire. 

**********************

_ By the time he could actually think about cooking dinner, the only salvageable thing in the freezer Oliver could find was what looked like frozen tomato sauce. He had already been a dirty, sweaty and glittery mess after finishing to clean the kitchen of all the remains of what he could only assume had been some kind of arts and crafts project gone horribly wrong.  _

_ The sauce was already re-heating on a low flame on one of the burners in the back and he was about to set a pan with water on another one to boil when the three women of the household joined him... _

_ “What’s for dinner?” One of the twins hopped onto one of the barstools. _

_ “I’m hungry.” The second one followed and sat down beside her sister. _

_ “Me too!” _

_ “How long do we have to wait?” _

_ Both of them looked at him expectantly, but before he could even give a response, their rambling continued, and all he could do was try to follow their conversation as he still tried to figure out who was who... _

_ “I’m literally starving!” _

_ “Figuratively.” _

_ “What?” _

_ “You are figuratively starving. Literally means that you really are.” _

_ “Smartass!” _

_ “Dumbass!” _

_ “Oh yeah? At least I know how to properly reverse a vacuum.” _

_ “HEY!” _

_ “Why does this damn thing..?” Oliver mumbled after the gas flame just wouldn’t light after the fifth attempt. “Maybe if I…” He turned the button to maximum heat and lit another match... _

_ “You really shouldn’t…” He could hear Felicity’s voice somewhere in between the twin’s bickering, but it was already too late by that point. Before he could even see what she was trying to tell him, his hand with the match had already moved over the plate and a large darting flame grazed the left side of his face and the distinctive pungent odor of burnt hair filled his nose. _

_ “Oh my gosh!” _

_ “Fire!” _

_ “Dad! We need to help him!” _

_ “On it!”  _

_ He heard the screams. _

_ “Son of a -” Oliver cursed under his breath before he could catch himself, reminding himself he was in the presence of children. “- blotch!”  _

_ “Hold still!” He was still trying to understand what just had happened when he heard the voice, and the next thing he knew was looking at the nozzle of a fire extinguisher… _

**********************

So that all hadn’t just been a bad dream after all… 

Oliver was still the same guy that had woken up on a smelly boat in the middle of fish guts only two days ago and somehow ended up in a house he could have sworn he had never seen before in his life. Half of his eyebrow was still burned off by a malfunctioning stove while trying to make dinner for a woman and two kids that, like the house, he didn't have any recollection of ever having seen or met in his entire life (or even better yet; conceive!) and he also could’ve sworn that there was still some glitter stuck to his hairline.

Not to forget that giant judgemental asshole of a dog he was sure thought about eating him alive in his sleep more than once.

Well… Might as well get up. 

He rolled over to the dog free side of that back-hating, uncomfortable pull-out bed, and stood up.

_ Beep! Beep! Be... _

Oliver walked over to the kitchen counter and slammed the snooze button on the alarm clock that someone seemed to have placed there in the night with Buttons still hard on his tail, eyeing him suspiciously.

Coffee! He really needed a good coffee.

And a real bed and his memories back… but everything in its own time. 

The only thing that would really help right now was a good overdose on pure caffeine, but only one look at the ancient looking coffee maker told him that it wouldn’t be as easy as he had wished to get to the stuff that got his systems running. Especially since he couldn’t find any trace of coffee, no matter where he looked.

“Is coffee ready yet?” A sleep ridden voice behind him made him turn around.

“Ummm… No. I don’t know how… or where.” The words stuck in Oliver’s throat as he glanced over his shoulder at a sleep drunk Felicity.

There wasn’t anything spectacular or even indecent about her. She just looked so… ‘cute’ was the first word that came to his mind as she stood before him, tousled and bleary in an oversized and washed-out black shirt and just a pair of bright pink sleeping shorts.

No. Cute wasn’t the right word.

Real. 

She was the realest thing he had ever seen… Not that his memory went back really far - cause it didn’t, but… This wasn’t something he just thought. He felt it. It was nothing more than a feeling deep down in his stomach he couldn’t put a finger on. He just  _ knew _ .

“Here. Let me.” She moved him to the side and got to work. “You really don’t want to talk to me before I’ve had my first coffee,” she grumbled.

Not a morning person. 

Oliver filed that information away for the future.

It only took her about one minute until the machine started to make the promising sounds that some freshly brewed coffee would finally make its way into his system.

“Come on, Smoak!” She glanced over at him and patted his cheek as he just stood there to the side, not really sure what he was supposed to do next. “The two little mischief-makers will be up in about fifteen minutes and we’ll only have about half an hour before the school bus will be outside… Just get the cereal out and set the table before you pack their lunch boxes.” Oliver caught the mug of steaming hot coffee Felicity practically thrust into his hands. “And believe me; you don’t want to deal with a pair of seven year olds in the morning without having at least one cup of that in your system.”

“Lunch boxes?” He was still trying to process everything she had told him when he heard the sound of their two children approaching the breakfast table, squealing with laughter and filling up their bowls with fruit loops and cornflakes. 

Oliver watched them happily munching away at their cereal, both apparently excited for their first day at school, until he felt a hard nudge in his lower ribs. Looking over, he could see that Felicity had set-up what looked like a working station filled with…

“Is that supposed to be food?” He raised an eyebrow as he looked at some of the already processed and pre-packaged foods, and reluctantly started to distribute one of everything into each of the children’s lunch boxes.

“Some of these also have fruit in them,” Felicity huffed in protest, as she caught him side-eyeing her. She knew she could have done better, but - well - truth be told she really never was anything close to a master chef and her mother had raised her on these things, and she’d turned out quite alright. 

Truth be told, she had forgotten about the lunch boxes pretty much over the last few days with everything that had happened. She’d never had to worry about those things back in Boston since the school fees also covered the meals. 

“Well, I guess you will have to step up your game in the future then…” 

She really didn’t need someone who was born with a platinum spoon in his mouth reminding her what a proper diet for her kids looked like right now. Especially if that person was the reason she had spent all of Saturday trying to repair whatever was left of her tech after taking an involuntarily swim in the Elk Grove harbor waters.

Felicity looked at the time on the alarm clock she had placed for Oliver on the counter and realized that she really needed to get going if she wanted to be out of the house by the time the school bus arrived.

Oliver watched her turn on her heels and walk upstairs, but not before throwing him a pointed look that made him sense the same tension he had felt from the very first moment she had picked him up in the hospital… but there would be a right moment to focus on that. Right now, he had two seven year olds to focus on.

“A Hufflepuff, huh?” Oliver spoke the first thing that came to mind as he closed the second box and took a closer look at the front of it, not really sure how to start a conversation with his daughters.

“Yep!” Emma beamed up at him over the rim of her cereal bowl. “And we’re the best!”

“Ugh!” Leigh groaned and rolled her eyes at him an a dramatic manner that had him snicker. “Here we go again....” 

“They are, okay?!” 

“Their ghost is pretty awesome.” Oliver sat down at the table and nodded mindfully, successfully drawing Emma’s attention away from her sister back to him.

“I know, right?! Also they have a badger as their mascot! Badgers are badass...”

He looked over at Leigh, who just sat there and concentrated on her sketchlike drawing, clearly not interested in what her sister and him were talking about.

“What is this?” Oliver asked, as he tried to figure out what he was looking at.

“It’s a mechanism I am trying to figure out.” Leigh drew her eyes away for a split second to glance over at him before she went back to her paper and pencil. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“She’s always like this…” his other daughter whispered to him. “But don’t worry. She’ll come around.” She patted his arm in reassurement while she finished her cereal. 

“Ok, Peas!” Felicity effectively broke off the party. “School bus is almost here, better get going. No one wants to be late on their first day!”

The two girls shot up from their chairs at those words, grabbed their backpacks and lunchboxes, and before Oliver could even so much of tell them to have a fun day, they were already out of the door. He followed them, with Felicity close behind.

“Oh, before I forget…” Felicity passed by him too, and was already halfway out of the door before she suddenly turned around on the doorstep right in front of him, handing him a piece of paper.

“What is this?” Oliver took a short glance at the piece of paper before he looked up again… Looking confused.

“Just a few chores, you know.” Felicity cocked her head and looked at him, fighting hard to not show any sign of glee. “Just a little something to help you get back into gear again…” 

He looked back down at the paper and read down it:

_ Today: _

_ Laundry (it’s been a crazy few weeks) _

_ House cleaning (don’t judge! They’re your daughters too…) _

_ Don’t forget to feed the dog. _

_ We need groceries _

_ Tomorrow: _

_ Take the dog to the vet _

_ Wednesday:  _

_ Fix the roof… Diggle will help you with that _

_ Sunday is for football: We’ll be having guests _

_ Some fun side projects (but really, they need to be done - like you promised) _

_ The backyard is all yours _

_ Fix the second floor bathroom _

He read it again, not sure he read it correctly the first time. She couldn’t be serious? 

“Are you serious?” He looked back and forth between the list and his wife, still hoping that she was pranking him but...

“Don’t worry. You got this...” She patted his chest. “Welcome home, Baby!”

“Wait!” Oliver yelled after Felicity, as he watched her getting inside of the truck. She really must be out of her mind if she thought he really could do all of that in the next couple of hours!

“Where’s the washing machine? And the cleaning supplies? Or the dog food? Are there any food allergies I need to know of and where do I buy it? And what the hell is a ‘Diggle’?”

But all he got in response was her waving at him as she drove away.

**********************

“You did what?” John waited for her response with two raised eyebrows while he poured her another cup of coffee. 

Felicity and Curtis were on their lunch break, and just like most days, they spent it at Dig’s diner down Mainstreet, having their usual orders and chatting about work and their families.

“Hey!” Felicity protested, while she was munching on a large bite of Dig’s famously delicious crab cakes. “Don’t give me that look. It’ll be a healthy and humbling experience for him. If you think of it like that, I’m only doing him a favor.” 

“Not if he ends up getting killed by your house first,” Curtis deadpanned, before he took another bite of his tuna sandwich.

“He’ll be fine,” Felicity waved them off. 

Surely he wouldn’t make the same mistake he had the night before with the stove… and, HEY! Eyebrow hairs would grow back eventually, right? So no hurt feelings there… And apart from that, most of the house was safe; except maybe for the washing machine, or the vacuum cleaner, and maybe the water boiler, or basically every power outlet in the house…

“Nah, yeah… he’ll be okay.” 

**********************

“Laundry,” Oliver read out loud to himself as he looked down Felicity’s list again. He stared at the laundry machine in the tiny utility room next to the kitchen after he had walked through the entire house to get a better overview of what he was ‘dealing’ with while collecting all the dirty clothes lying around. 

Not that it had taken him too much time to take it all in - it had taken him more time to try to accept that this house actually was the place they were living in by choice. To say it was a dump was really putting it mildly. 

Not only was there a giant leak in the rooftop of the house he had stared at for the last few hours as he tried to fall asleep; all of the mountings seemed like they quietly had rusted away over the last few decades, and he could only imagine what the connecting pipes must look like by now. The way the whole house started to groan and jar every time someone pulled the flush on the toilet or turned on the water was a pretty good indication. 

The kitchen was a whole other story besides the whole plumbing disaster. Two thirds of the upper part of the fridge was filled with ice from back to front and the stove was a complete safety hazard. His right eyebrow was a first hand testimony to that.

There was so much that needed to be done in this house… but for now he was focusing on the list Felicity had left him with as a starting point, and that told him to wash their clothes.

“Okay… this can’t be that hard,” he muttered to himself as he grabbed the detergent and fabric softener from the shelf above the ancient looking washer, and put a generous amount of both in the machine. He filled it up with the first part of the laundry and pushed start. 

“See,” he reassured himself as he walked away. “Easy as pie.”

**************************

“YESSSS!” Felicity cheered at her monitor, just as Curtis returned to their office  after he had spent the last two hours upgrading the three computers to the latest operating system at the local newspaper. 

It was one of those regular jobs him and Felicity would pull straws over to see who the unlucky ‘winner’ was who had to take it.

Not that they didn’t pay good money for their services, but it usually involved a lot - like A LOT - of talking and complaining about how much better the world was when typewriters were still a thing and people would still pay money for printed newspapers instead of feeding their curiosity online. 

“Please tell me you just had a real breakthrough…” He sounded tired.

Felicity couldn’t blame him. The three women running the paper really had a way of overfeeding you with the town’s latest rumors and gossip to the point your ears just wanted to crawl back inside of your body.

But she couldn’t help the satisfied grin on her face.

It had started as a small twitch at the corners of her mouth after the first test run of their self-developed program and her adjustments to the coding didn’t result in another fatal error like it had the first few hundred times. 

The small twitch had turned into a smile when she had finally been able to connect the scanner - courtesy of Curtis’ engineering - properly to the program… And she hadn’t stopped grinning ever since the scanner actually transmitted the data it was supposed to. 

She knew they still had a long way to go until their program was ready to be shown to any potential partners, but it felt like they had just bolted light years ahead… and she didn’t even care that a lightyear wasn’t a proper measurement of time. 

“I actually just did.” She pointed to her monitor, showing him the results of her morning… Finally, after all those months of coding and hair-pulling. 

“I knew why I wanted you to do this with me.” Curtis grin grew wider by the second he looked at what she’d done. “You’re still the best of the best, Smoaky.”

“We were always a good team,” she smiled back at him.

They always had been the perfect match. Each in their own field of expertise. Curtis was a genius in engineering. He always had a much more refined hand, especially when it came to design, and working with him made it possible for her to focus more on programming and coding.

“How’re things going back at home?” Curtis asked after a few minutes of them, step by step, going through Felicity’s latest update.

“Everyone survived the first night?” Felicity shrugged. She really didn’t think of it until just now. She had been too deep in the zone to think of anything else. “I left him with a healthy list of things to do. I’m guessing he’s cleaning the house of our latest glitter incident.”

“Aren’t you worried he’ll tear up the house while you’re not there?”

“Really?” Felicity coughed. “You’ve seen that place, right? There’s nothing he could possibly make worse in only a few hours. Besides, how hard can it be to clean a house?”

“No harder than to make omelettes,” Curtis snickered as he walked over to the coffee machine. “Yet somehow ten men of the Boston Fire Department ended up evacuating the dorm, remember?”

“I do. I also remember that you ended up dating one of those firemen for the next six months. You are welcome.”

She grabbed her purse and looked at the clock; right on time to pick up her Peas. Now all she needed to make the day perfect was a clean house to return to and… a - hopefully - not too dead Oliver. 

**************************

It was close to 4p.m. when Felicity and her two daughters got home. All of them laughing and exchanging bits and pieces of their day, just like it had always been. It made Felicity even happier to pick up her two girls in a really good mood after their first day at the new school. 

She had worried a lot about it ever since she had to pull them out of their private school and they had moved. Felicity knew that public school, no matter where they went, would never be able to pay the same attention to her children and their talents, but she was relieved to see both her girls standing in front of the school with big smiles on their faces. 

Really, nothing could ruin her day at that point...

“THIS! IS NOT WORKING!”

Or, maybe… she had spoken too soon.

“What the…” 

It looked like a battle zone. It was like Felicity had been sent back in time to last Friday when she looked at her living room that somehow had turned into a second glitter-a-geddon. Only this time, it didn’t only looked like a unicorn had thrown up all over the place, it looked like a whole battle zone. Wet and muddy laundry was lying everywhere, the chairs and coffee table were all turned upside down, and unmistakable traces of dirty dog paw prints were all over the place. 

And on the floor, in the middle of all of the mess, was sitting a very much destroyed looking Oliver Queen. 

“This!” He wildly gestured around. “- is not working!”

“If by ‘this’ you mean your weird laundry technique I totally agree with you.” Felicity nodded in agreement, while she tried hard to keep a straight face, but the picture Oliver made in that moment, the pipe of the vacuum still in his hand and covered in glitter, mud and what must have been the dust and dog hair of ages, with that total crestfallen look on his face, was almost too much for her restraints.

Her Girls weren’t as subtle though. Their giggles soon filled the whole room as they glanced up from behind their mother to take a look at him.

“Ohh… you’re in trouble,” Leigh loudly whispered in his direction. 

“Mom will make you clean that up,” Emma was quick to agree with her sister. 

“Do you have any, ANY idea how much time I have spent cleaning in here, only to turn this godforsaken thing on that exploded in the next second, and to be jumped at by that monster of a calf?!” 

“He is a dog, Dad!” Emma protested through her snickering, as she walked over to him and started to dust his face off with her little fingers. “He was probably just scared.”

“Well!” Felicity exclaimed. “You are in luck, because these two lovely little devils will help you clean up this mess before they have to start their homework and you cook dinner.”

“What?”

“But, Mom?!”

“Yes.” Felicity looked at her daughters, who by the look on their faces knew fully well they deserved it. “After all… Your engineering genius brains are what have caused part of this whole mess. I’ll be working in the shed if you need me.”

With those words, and an impish grin on her lips she left the three of them to work it out while she had some work of her own to sort out in her home office she had outsourced to the backyard for lack of space in the house.

She had him right where she wanted and this would only be the beginning. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did you think? Let me know and leave a comment (and/or kudos of course if you're so inclined…) 
> 
> Also, you can find me on both Tumblr and Twitter as NoDecaff4Me. Come say hi! I’d love to hear from you.


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